PRIDE OR SERVICE

Our beautiful Layla...hiding her face..I felt like doing this...

This last week has been "tough"...I have had to take a very long look at myself, my motivation and my work. I have always worked in projects, community or something "good" for others. This last week God has been refining me - we normally call it "refining fire"...I can tell you the heat was put to maximum...we have been taught that the "hotter the fire" the more perfect the result...my word....it was difficult and hard.

I had to examine myself and why I do what I do. While pondering this and wondering about all the blessings and failures I came to realise that I had to change a lot about me. The main one being my "prideful" attitude. I love to talk about what I do, the projects I am involved in and the blessings we have received. I talk to anyone I meet taking every opportunity and I have justified this in my own mind that when I speak to them about what "I" do I ask them if there is anything they can do to help us (donations, time, etc) - so justifying my "prideful conversation". God guided me to the scripture below..I have quoted it in two different translations:

Matthew 6: 3 & 4

NIV - 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Message - 2-4"When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure—'playactors' I call them— treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. When you help someone out, don't think about how it looks. Just do it—quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out."

I spoke to a very trusted spiritual friend and explained to her what was going on in my mind and heart and told her that I look at her and her peaceful attitude and generous heart and I would love to be more like her and less like me...and she told me that she struggles with exactly the same. Did this make me feel better...no...this was my journey and if we share a path then I know that at least I am not alone in this and I felt comforted and not as condemned as I had been feeling.

I know I am loved unconditionally, I am righteous in Christ, I just need to take care that the God I am serving is my God, Lord and Savior and not my work. 

I thank God that He is constantly REFINING me .... I thank God that He has opened my eyes and ears to His teaching. I thank God that He has made me brave enough to share this with folk who I have been "boastful" to....I thank God that I am forgiven and loved by Him. I ask you for forgiveness if I have been boastful instead of humble.

Inspiring blogger:

POVERTY - HIV - TWINS?

Fikile....wonderful dedicated mother

This is Fikile she is the mom of Phindie and Phindile...the twins I have messaged about before. Phindile is the little one who is having glasses fitted to try and rectify her very severe squint.

Phindile

 Fikile is HIV positive and I have her permission to publish her photo and her story. Her CD4 count is below 300 which is terminal. She gets a monthly grant from the government of R560 which is US$73 PER MONTH.

This is the only income she has. The father of her children threw a lit paraffin stove at her when she confronted him about the fact that she had tested positive for HIV - he had never disclosed his status to her....her burns landed her in hospital while pregnant with her twin girls. He is in jail serving a 5 year sentence. She has tried to find work but struggles due to her scars - people turn her away. She is dedicated to her two little girls and does not eat unless they have eaten - she does not take her ARV's as she does not eat often enough and the doctors have told her not to take the medication unless she has eaten. This is one of the stories from our school....she has asked me if she can come and work for me so that when she dies I can look after her twin daughters - who do not carry the HIVirus - Praise God. I am not able to employ her as I have folk working for me already. 

Phindie & Phindile with their new blankets

The reality of being poor - unsupported - uncared for by a social system that is falling apart - this is just one story - there are 100's more. Please pray for this family that somehow we are able to help her with monthly food parcels, clothing for the children and her and their basic needs. Thank you.

If you would like in any way to support them even if it is a written message to Fikile that I will give to her - please do so and God bless you as you hopefully remember them in your prayers. Our PayPal account button is published on the BLOG. Thank you....

JUDGEMENT?

I have a confession. I was asked to help with a cause that looked after endangered children. Obviously I jumped at the opportunity – it is what I do. BUT – the brakes were quickly put on when I realised that the custodians of the cause were a married couple – they were two women. Everything in me said no this is not right, this is sinful, and this is so far removed from the will of God. I even asked counsel from trusted spiritual friends and all but one told me about unequal yoking, take care not to get involved, etc. One of my very wise friends Hayley invited me to coffee and she allowed me to discuss my feelings and together we realised how wrong I was.

Yes homosexuality is sin – but so is lying, deceit, adultery, murder, rape, abuse, not paying taxes.

Who am I to judge these two women – this is an opportunity for me to confess my immediate judgment of them and to ask them to forgive me. Am I any better than them? Am I perfect in my walk with Jesus? Absolutely not. I fall every day. I struggle with stuff. But my stuff is more than often hidden from the world it is secret stuff…the outward me looks all put together – but you don’t know my struggles – I hide them well. If you truly knew me and my struggles would you also say “Oh no, I cannot be with her, she is a sinner?”

We are all sinners – I do not believe that there are levels of sin. I believe that we have opportunity to minister to anyone no matter what their confession is. I know we are instructed in the Bible by Paul -

Anything that is in conflict with the nature of God and His will is sinful. His nature and will are revealed plainly in the Bible, and as such those things that are contrary to Him are plain as well. There is an objective standard. We can know the difference between right and wrong. And after determining the difference, we ought to be careful to avoid all sin. Paul's question in 2 Corinthians 6:14, is a rhetorical one. He states, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

Matthew 28:18-20 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

This is the foundation for evangelism and cross-cultural missions work in Christian theology. Because the Lord's instructions were to go to all nations and that He would be with us until the very end of the age, Christians of all generations have embraced this command. As many have said, it's not "The Great Suggestion." No, the Lord has commanded us to put our faith in action.

I will value your comments. I am going to meet with these ladies, confess to them my judgment, ask their forgiveness and then show them the work of Jesus that was done for ALL of us.