Thursday, 10 May 2012

How wrong could I be?

Grandpa Hugh and Keagan
This is my husband Hugh and our first grand child, Keagan. We have been married for 30 years and I have to confess that I have failed miserably in some of the most important aspects as a wife to this man. I did not trust him to take charge of our family as the spiritual leader so I did it. He did not confess his faith in the way that I thought was RIGHT, so I denied him his rightful place. Being the quiet gentle person that he is - he just stepped back and quietly continued his relationship with God. Yet I complained all the time that I wanted him to be the head of our home, I wanted to be lead, I wanted to feel vulnerable and guided...all a lie.
We went through some really tough times - not surprising. I had to get to a point to forgive him for some stuff - in the mean time it was me who had to ask him to forgive me. When I finally opened my stubborn ears to the whispering of God - I think by now He was yelling at me, shaking me - to gently go forward - to ask him for forgiveness - God restored a love in my heart for this man that is so overwhelming, sometimes suffocating that I feel so blessed, so warm, so loved, so needed, my husband is my rock, he is my everything - thanks to God who placed him there all those years ago - knowing that I needed refining and He needed to give me a strong man who would put up with my stubbornnes.
I have finally learnt that when we are doing as God asks us - it all just WORKS OUT. I had to STOP doing it....it is not about "JUST DO IT" it is more about allow it to happen the way God wants it to.
The priest in my home has now started a short dedication time in his morning meetings with his staff. What more can I say? Was I holding him back all these years? Lord forgive me.
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15 comments:

  1. Anonymous10 May 2012 at 15:30

    Hi Noeline - What you have gone through, you are using as a testimony to others and in doing that, we all are benefiting and being blessed by your obedience to Christ and your example to us in your marriage. God bless and thank you
    Tracy

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  2. Noeline Clare-Talbot10 May 2012 at 21:11

    Bless you my friend Tracy who is teaching me to listen.

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  3. a joyful noise11 May 2012 at 23:06

    Men often have a more private and deep experience with God, yet they politely step back if the woman tries to take over leadership. I was guilty of that too. Perhaps my husband did not have any examples to fall back on, and was also busy and out the door at an early hour on to work. So I read the Bible to our children in the mornings and told Bible stories at night. We both took them to Sunday School and church -- many times too much church for children. We did the best we knew how. My husband is a dear man and loves the Lord with all his heart. I thank God daily for him.

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    1. Noeline Clare-Talbot11 May 2012 at 23:36

      Thank you for your honesty. I pray rich blessing on your marriage and your love for one another.

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  4. Noeline Clare-Talbot11 May 2012 at 23:10

    My husband picked up my blog on my Face Book page and here is his comment: 'From Hugh: "I read your piece on Face Book - I am blown away - it is I that need to ask you for forgiveness not you asking me. I am spiritually immature whereas you are walking in the spirit. Words cannot express my love for you and your words bring tears to my eyes. I am loved by you like no one has ever loved me. And loving you is all I want to do."
    I am such a blessed and loved woman - and God restored this for us. The love that God lays in your heart is a love that is overwhelming, incredible and most importantly believable. I am so grateful.

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  5. Gail @ http://biblelovenotes.com11 May 2012 at 23:35

    Powerful post because of your honesty and willingness to admit your responsibility. And I know I have done some of the same things in my marriage as well. And like you, God has changed my perspective at times and shown me how great a man I have. Thanks for sharing this, and thanks for linking up to B&BB. So glad to be getting to know you better. I pray your week is blessed big time. Gail

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  6. Noeline Clare-Talbot11 May 2012 at 23:39

    Thank you Gail. My husband is a gentle man and I have said so many times that I want a "Romance novel" marriage and I had it all along just did not see the man who loved me standing right in front of me. What a waste of time. I pray that people read posts like mine to encourage them to not waste the precious time they have with their spouse, and make every second count to the glory of God who is the masterpiece of LOVE.

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  7. Shanda12 May 2012 at 02:22

    Oh Noeline, I am so happy for you and so grateful for you sharing your story. It took me until late in our marriage to also hand over the role of spiritual leader to Mark and he is really stepped up. I remember in Honduras in 2007 when I first gave the role back! After 20 years. It is definitely a turning point.

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    1. Noeline Clare-Talbot12 May 2012 at 17:43

      Thank you for your comment Shanda. I can honestly tell you that it is a relief to do it.

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  8. Dawn12 May 2012 at 14:55

    So many women struggle with their position in marriage and it often takes time to find it and do it well. What a blessing when we do. Thanks for sharing your struggle. I know it will be a blessing to so many other wives who wish to take their rightful place and struggle too.

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    1. Noeline Clare-Talbot12 May 2012 at 17:45

      It is such a dilema. I think that is why we as woman feel that if it is not being done RIGHT we have to just take the responsibility. But who is to say what is Right - only God and we have to allow God to minister to our husbands and lead them. We have to just keep praying that their hearts are secure in their love of Christ.

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  9. Duane Scott15 May 2012 at 17:58

    Such honesty...

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  10. Noeline Clare-Talbot15 May 2012 at 22:06

    Thank you for reading. I pray blessing on you and your family

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  11. Aritha V. 29 June 2012 at 10:58

    Dank je wel! Bij ons is het andersom. Ik probeer nu uit de schaduw te stappen ;-)

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    1. Noeline Clare-Talbot30 June 2012 at 19:45

      Bedankt voor uw post - Ik moedig je elke dag als je samen groeien. Ik hoop dat mijn vertaling correct is.

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